Episode 4 of the Fuel the Fire Podcast hosted by Shanon Safi, RD, LDN.
The holidays are here and they can be daunting! In this episode Shanon and Cat talk about how they’ve dealt with struggles around the holidays such as binging, judgement, and restriction along how you can face this year with a healthier and happier mindset.
In this episode we talk about:
Cat’s past holiday views and positive changes (1:24)
Shanon’s past restrictions and current freedoms (10:05)
Facing binging and shame (15:25)
Using the holidays as an excuse and planning around them (19:20)
What causes weight gain around the holidays? (26:55)
How can you prepare for the next holiday season? (31:27)
Yeah to finish every statement with don't judge me Yeah. Or like, yeah, just just exist how you want to exist. And if you like cookies, eat the cookie, you know, have the thing like, oh, going Hello. Hello guys. Welcome back to the fuel fire soul podcast. We are coming back bronze and beautiful. I added the beautiful part just super bronze and super bronze. A little bit. That's okay. Yeah, we just went on vacation and just came back to snow and holidays right away. So we had way
back to back to things vacation and holidays. Those are two fears for everyone.
Hey, yeah. Oh, yeah. And I think we were super proud of ourselves. We talked about this already. We were like, we came back from vacation, and we were normal. And what a magical blessing we experienced and something that I can't say we both experienced in the past very well. So yeah, we're proud of ourselves in our little journey here too. Sure. Beautiful. So yeah, we wanted to chat a little bit today, more on the holidays. We wanted to go over a little bit of how we've experienced holidays in the past, and kind of what that looks like now. And then of course, close off with some tips for you guys to you know, approach this holiday season with a better mindset and feeling a lot more competent with it. Can tell them a little, a little bit about your backstory, and how you've approached holidays in the past.
Okay, yeah, so Oh, my All right. I think this is like the first year I'm feeling like pretty confident going into the holiday season. Like we were just saying we just got back from vacation. This is the first time I have not like dieted or tried to kill myself in the gym leading up to a vacation. So I felt really good throughout that whole thing. And I think like being on vacation, I felt really good. And it just like something in my mind, like clicked over the last month. I really don't, I don't know why or what happened. But I'm just like kind of embracing where I'm at. And this is probably like the first holiday season that I'm not like feeling like I need to restrict everything that I'm eating. I think some of that comes from, you know, I was just starting my prep life for the last two years, probably in this holiday season. So it was really restrictive, like making cookies with my family, like I couldn't eat the cookies that we were making. And I always did. Like I always would do that. So this year is definitely a little bit different. But even when I was in high school, I feel like I definitely restricted probably the entire week, honestly leading up to Christmas. And then like Christmas Eve Christmas Day, like those are two really big events in my family. We all get together, there's tons of food, there's tons of sweets, there's alcohol involved. And I felt like I needed to restrict those calories throughout the week. So I could just, you know, go all out and eat whatever I wanted during the holiday season. And really the holiday season when we say that it's silly because it's it's two main days really, for me at least like Christmas Eve and Christmas Day are like my two biggest holidays during this time, but it's kind of like the other four weeks, like leading up until Christmas and Christmas Eve. That was just always a really hard time. For me, I feel like I was always in, I want to lose weight. I've always wanted to in that mindset, like I want to lose weight. And I can't do that if I'm eating cookies. And I can't do that if I'm drinking wine, and all that stuff. So it was really hard for me, I definitely would try to track and probably have like really low calories, I was probably tracking about 1200 or last calories on my fitness pal. And that was like cookies and wine trying to fit that into my macros. And it never did. And I felt like I was failing every time like I would go over my calories. And I think I don't know just having that mindset of like a really low calorie intake and if I didn't hit those targets, like my whole entire life was ruined and then I would go kill myself in the gym. So I don't know like I said that that mindset has definitely left over really it's only been like a month or two that I'm like starting to accept where I'm at. And I think this year I don't know like I just don't feel like any restriction with it. I've did it my whole Thanksgiving. I enjoyed it. I really have been trying to pay attention to like what I'm actually eating like being present in the meal and like trying Uh, you know, I always try to balance my plate, there's always a balanced plate in front of me. But even with that, like there were three different kinds of stuffing on my plate. And there was other, you know, foods that I don't usually eat. And I just really took my time to eat it this year. And I like paid attention to when I was eating. And I stopped when I was four. And that is the first time I think I've ever done that for Thanksgiving. Like, I, I don't know if something was just different this year. So I'm off to a good start. I intend to continue to enjoy my holiday cookies and my Sangria throughout the season. But it definitely was a life of like restriction. And I would say, definitely some binging on the foods that I wouldn't usually have throughout the year. So that's kind of, that's where I'm at. But Where's, where's your story? What's that look like? Yeah,
I wanted to make a comment while you're talking. It kind of like reminded me of that concept of the diet mindset. That like we tend to have where I think that's a big part in the shift where you kind of said, like, you've always been thinking like, Okay, I need to lose weight. And so we equate losing weight to like being on a diet. So then when you're in this constant state of like, needing to be on like this, quote, unquote, diet, and if you're not, quote unquote, dieting, then you're gonna, you're in a period of doing something unhealthy or gaining weight, or behaviors that you don't necessarily think are optimal for you. So then, you know, making that shift from okay, I'm no longer dieting, and now I'm just like, enjoying my life as a human and existing, we don't feel that compulsive urge to binge because there's no like, Okay, I'm gonna get on a diet next week. So let me eat all these things now. Because like, in two days, I can't eat these things. So I think that, like, from my standpoint, like listening to your story, kind of sounds like maybe that's where you're flowing. And I think a lot of us experienced that. It was just like being in this mindset, where we can't have these things. And then, like, Thanksgiving is like permission to eat the stuffing and permission to eat the cookies and permission to drink extra wine. But you know, realistically, it's like, if you let yourself do those things at other times, like, would they have that much of an impact on your decision? Like, how much am I going to eat of this? Is this going to control me? Is this controlling my thoughts right now? So I think it's cool that now you're just kind of like, okay, I'm just gonna be present, in the moment experience the meal that I'm experiencing, be mindful about it and be aware and tune into, like, what my body's telling me instead of what, like my brain is trying to convince me of, yeah, definitely.
And I'm, I think that's like, kind of my, one of my goals, like I definitely, you know, want to be enjoying the moments now. Like, I think it was so stressful for me, like, one I didn't want anyone like, judging what I was eating. Like, I don't want anyone looking at me, like, I don't know. And I think that's very my head. I don't know why I think that necessarily, but I don't know, if I was over eating. I felt like I was being like, judged like, Oh, should you be eating that much? Or, you know, I don't know. Like, I think that was just, like, an environment that I was in. And I like, created those thoughts for myself, like people are judging how I'm eating. So I'm just going to eat like a jerk. I don't know. Like, I think that's how I ate like when I was, you know, college, college time, probably high school, too. And I don't know, I think I was just really restricted with myself every other month. And then maybe Christmas and Thanksgiving. And New Year's like, those were all like the excuses. Oh, like, it's the holidays. So naturally, I'm going to gain weight, I can eat the extra stuff, like it's fine. And just, I think that's where my mind was at. Yeah,
I think it's really normal for people to have that fear of judgment about how they're eating. I think there's like two sides to it. So one side where it's like, sometimes we can use these events as a reason for it to be like, socially acceptable to like, binge eat and like overeat and like eat until you're physically in pain. And then on the flip side, you know, a lot of times people that do struggle with like overeating, or binging, it's like in front of the family. You're like, oh, no, I want to prove that I am healthy and that I'm doing these good things. So like, I don't know, maybe you bring some kind of like, healthy item to kind of like show hey, look, I'm taking my health seriously. And then the second that everyone's gone, you're like, gorging because you're just too ashamed to like, do it in front of someone. And obviously, neither of those things is exactly what we want, in terms of, we'll say like a balanced, mindful approach to the holidays. You know, like, we hope to kind of like get rid of that feeling and get rid of the shame and the urges that you might feel around how you eat during the holidays.
Yeah, yeah. What's your experience? Like? What's your history?
Yeah, funny on that note, this is the first thing that comes to mind because this just happened this Thanksgiving. So this Thanksgiving, I really wanted to make green bean casserole. I just, I don't know, I was feeling it. And I pulled to the family. And I was like, Hello, how's everyone feel about some green bean casserole? And everyone was like, Yeah, I haven't had that for a while, like, I'm down. And then my family. So we celebrated with my brothers in laws and my family. So my brothers in laws have not experienced so much of my cooking because they're kind of like a new part of our tradition. And my family, of course, has experienced my cooking. So my family's kind of like, man, okay. I mean, if you really want to do that, Shannon make the green bean casserole. And I'm like, what? You guys are gonna love it. Just wait. So I make the green bean casserole. It's a hit. Everyone's like having seconds. Everyone's like, Shannon, this is so good. And I was like, Wow, thank you so much, everyone. I'm so flattered. Really, it was just some green beans and canned soup. But thank you for acknowledging how talented I am for stirring them together. Yeah, thank you. And then my mom brought it up. And she was like, Yeah, I mean, you made it like five years ago or something. And it was gross. I remember thinking it was pretty bad. And I was like, oh, yeah, that's because I use like fat free soup. And I like didn't want to use, I forget what else like, you know, I remember I was just trying to make it like, low calorie healthy, and I skipped certain ingredients. Or like I said, again, use like some weird congealed fat free with the soup. And I didn't use like cream or milk or anything like that. And I was like, Wow, what a time in my life. Because that honestly, like, it's funny looking back, I historically did that a lot. Like I would ruin things by just trying to healthify them. Now obviously, with the cooking classes, I got a lot better. Because I don't use fake ingredients anymore in my cooking. But back then it was like, I just wanted to use fat free this and low sugar this and I don't do that anymore. Like, I use butter. I use cream, I use milk, but I'm conscious about how much I'm using and the portion that I'm eating of whatever it is that I make. So I think that's a big part. Like I think that statement, this green bean casserole is like a really good example of this transition I made from my old mindset to where I'm at now. I think before with holidays, I It's really weird. I think, for some reason, I think I'm much more conscious about my health around the holidays, because I think people tend to see it as like, oh, I always like gain weight during the holidays. So then I'm kind of like extra motivated to be like, No, I'm not gonna fall off with my healthy habits. I literally spent the last like 10 months building, like, why would I want to go backwards and then just like, throw that all out, just because it's the holidays are just because it's cold outside now. So I think that I always have to, like, remind myself, I mean, then again, I would be like super restrict, like I don't wanna say restricted necessarily, because I would still eat a good amount. But I was always choosing things that were like, stereotypically, what we consider healthier, like, Oh, this is the low fat, lots of veggie dish. So I'll eat more of that. And while that is good, now the way I see it is kind of like, if I want the thing, I'm going to eat it. And that's kind of like how I live here around now too. So then when I had a different mindset of like, I was just like restricting all the time. So going into the holiday, I think it's naturally easier to want to like overdo things because you were like not having them otherwise. But yeah, there's just so many things I think I marked in my head is like, bad or like, you know, it's like I would skip dessert, or I'd be like, Oh, well, I want to try all five pies that are here, but I'm only gonna let myself have one. But now I'm like, Nah, give me a little slice of all of them are like, yeah, like, if I want it, I'll have it and like, usually what ends up happening is like, my sister and I, we just do this or like, you know, if we throw my mom and they're just depending, it's like, I really just realistically, if I eat five slices of pie, I'm gonna feel terrible. And I know that and I don't have the urge to do that, because I don't physically like the way it makes him feel. So instead, like my sister will put like, two slices on her plate. I'll put two slices on my plate, and then my mom will put a slice on her plate. And then we'll just kind of like take little bites from everyone's and we feel so much better. And we got the taste of all the things that we wanted to try. And so like we feel good about it, and we got to have everything a heart's desire. And yeah, there's no shame. There's no guilt. There's no discomfort about it. It's like yeah, I had five different buys. But you know, it's like I had little bites, but you know, yeah, and there's maybe a time when I was super restrictive where I would have, you know, I probably would have been the person that wouldn't do it in front of people and I probably would have waited for everyone to leave and then like, slowly eat some pie or like maybe the desserts were sitting out in everyone's mind come over and like try to space out my consumption, even though altogether was like, Absolutely, probably ridiculous. But yeah, I think, yeah, I was probably just like really sneaky about it. I think just the expectation of everyone knowing like, oh, Shana, and she's a dietician, she's supposed to be healthy. Or if you're, you know, like, I think how you could relate to if you're not a dietician, where if you are sitting here telling your family, I'm trying to lose weight, or whatever, and then in your head, or like, they're gonna judge me, if I eat cake, they're gonna think like, I don't know if negative thoughts about me because I have no self control when it comes to desserts, or to stuffing or whatever that thing is that you love so much. So I think kind of like that. That factor I think, is really hard to get rid of. But it's definitely very possible to kind of, I don't want to say eradicate, but yeah, kind of like quiet that shame and kind of, like, turn it from shame to acceptance in your world.
Yeah, I think like, kind of going back a few points that you made of like, eating till you're uncomfortable, and like realizing that is something you don't enjoy. I think that is something that people do not realize in themselves a lot, like throughout the year, if you don't realize that, um, you know, in April, that you're over eating, and that's uncomfortable for you, you're not going to all of a sudden realize that in December, on Christmas, like Christmas Eve, when you're with your family and eating this huge dinner, until you're uncomfortably full like that, that's kind of what you need to pay attention to the other, like you said, the other 10 months, like those are the habits, you want to start realizing and bringing to like the forefront. Because when it does get to that holiday season, and there are five pies in front of you, you're going to eat them all, and you're going to be uncomfortable unless you realize that that makes you uncomfortable. Like and you know, you have to like have that realization before you even go into the holiday season like that you usually don't feel good after, you know, having that large quantity of food.
Yeah, I think a lot of people know that they feel uncomfortable, because I feel like from things that people have, like clients telling me these different scenarios where it's like you overeat, and you feel like you're in pain, and you're like, God, I'm so disgusting. Like, I hate myself, why did I do that? And it's like that shame and discomfort and guilt never makes you change. You know, I think that's a big thing. Because even I've experienced that where, you know, I get caught in these like, cycles, like I'd say, not so much anymore, because I've really liberalized my diet. But when I was more restrictive, if I did over eat, oh, that's how I would talk to myself. I'm like, God, I feel disgusting. I feel horrible that I just did this, like, Why did I do this? Like, okay, tomorrow, I'm not going to do this again. And then okay, here's leftovers. And then you have the opportunity to do it again. So I think a lot of times, it's like, how do you break that? You know, I think focusing on like, how to change the fact that like, Yeah, I do feel a lot of shame and discomfort around this, like, how do I get away from that shame and discomfort and like put myself in a mindset, where I'm not judging myself, or I'm not feeling judged by other people. And therefore just like perpetuating these habits, rather than doing something like telling yourself you feel gross and disgusting, and you're dumb for doing this, again, that's not going to make you change. Like realistically, that doesn't help people. So it's really kind of getting away from that, like, shaming yourself and like sometimes, yeah, I think I mean, we'll definitely have a whole podcast episode separately on that aspect alone. So I won't get too much into it now. But I want you to keep that in mind where it's like, you know, shaming yourself and calling yourself names is not going to help you get yourself out of this, like overeating mindset, especially around like holidays and stuff.
Yeah, and I think it's just something people need to realize, like and start working on, you know, alright, like, how do you break that and kind of, you know, getting to the bottom of that before, you know, you're in a situation where you feel like you need to eat, and overeat and then kind of go into that cycle of feeling like, like disgusting and physically in pain from eating so much.
Yeah, and I think a good thing to reflect on too, is kind of our next point. So like, are we using the holidays as an excuse to fall back on old habits? And I think if me saying that triggers you, that's definitely something you really need to sit with. If your initial reaction to saying that statement was like, I'm not using it as an excuse and you got angry about that. I think there's chance that you might be using it. Excuse and you need to be a little more honest with yourself like, am I using this as an excuse? Am I justifying unhealthy behaviors that I know make me feel bad just because I'm uncomfortable with it, and I'm used to doing that every year.
Yeah, cuz if you, you know, like maybe it's ingrained in your head that every year from, you know, November until January, you gain 10 pounds. And that's engraved in your head that that's just what it is. And that's just going to happen again. But you're not getting down to the why, why that's happening, it's going to be really hard to like fall out of that cycle. Like, if that's what you're telling yourself, that's probably going to happen again, this year. So, you know, kind of reflecting on that question of if you're using it as an excuse for weight gain over the next few months. What is it? Well, now it's December, so next month, month and a half?
Yeah. I think once Thanksgiving kind of starts, that's when people start to kind of say, Oh, f it will wait till the new year because it's the holiday season. And kind of like you said before, you know, it's if you like, kind of do like a little reality check where it's like, okay, I mean, maybe you do travel, maybe you are going places, maybe you have a lot of events and activities. But like if they're isolated incidences, like if there's an activity every weekend, like, okay, that's just the weekend. That doesn't necessarily mean you have to trash your whole week because you have friends giving Eve one weekend, and the next weekend, do you have your holiday Christmas party with your friends, and then you have one with your co workers? And then you have like the following week with your family? And then the week after your in laws? Like Are we just kind of taking these isolated instances instances and just saying, Oh, well, the whole month of December is shot because I for events, right? Exactly. Like for events, four days of overeating is not going to completely derail you. It's every day in between if you feel like, alright, well, using like an event, alright, well,
I had, I ate like crap all day on Saturday, because I had this event. So Sunday, I'm definitely like, I'm gonna feel like crap. So I'm gonna go out and get breakfast. And then now I shot down Sunday. So I might as well just keep on the trend. And then that we kind of gets all thrown off. And it's just your mindset changing to like, I don't care. I blew the whole weekend. And now I'm on to this trend of like, just eating like garbage. So whatever, January 1 is right around the corner. Yeah, you know, that's definitely the trend that you see the most frequently. And I can admit, like, that was me. So, you know, I know what it feels like. But yeah, just, I don't know, it starts with fixing that relationship with food that you have, like those restricted foods that are in your mind. Like, if you're looking at a cookie, like your favorite Christmas cookie being bad. And it's there and you eat it, you're gonna feel guilty every time you eat it. So it's like, Alright, why are you not just allowing yourself to have like, you know, two cookies a day, like, kind of plan for it, you know? So I always say that to like, especially teachers and things like that they have all their kids bringing in, like, all these treats, like, Okay, that's great. So plan to have your cookie, like, allow yourself to have it instead of restricting it all the way up to the event that's going to happen or whatever that breaking point, where now you just ate the entire 10 of cookies, instead of you could have just had like, two throughout the throughout the week or throughout the day, you know, however you want to plan for it.
Yeah, that's a really good point is kind of just being okay with having these little things. Because I think there is this like, idea. Like, if you're a healthy person, you don't eat these foods. And I just really hate that because especially when people like I don't know, I always thought like if I was in my clients position, and someone was asking me, do you eat healthy? I would pause and just be like, like, I just hate that question. Like, I'm like, I eat foods. Yeah. Healthy fashion.
gonna say it. Yeah. Because like when I think of like, do I eat healthy? I mean, like, in all honesty, is do I eat some processed things every once in a while? Yeah, me eat
a plate of dessert every single day. Taste them all throughout vacation night. Yeah.
And I have zero guilt or remorse. Yeah, nor do I identify as an unhealthy person because I did that because to me, it's like, you know, if you want to have the thing, like have the thing, you know, I think it's like that self permission. And just being again, like honest with yourself, like, again, like you don't have to impress your family by saying like, No, I'm so healthy. I just juiced everything and meat vegetables only like, God, look at me. I'm the face of health. Like it's who cares? Like, just if you're like, hey, yeah, I'm cool to eat this cookie. And I might need to maybe like, and you don't have to finish your statement with don't judge me. It's really funny because I won't identify the person in My family doing this and technically, it's not my family, but in my family gatherings. She would do something and be like, don't judge me though. And I'm like, I wasn't judging you. But now I know this is something you're really insecure. So maybe we should have a little talk. Yeah. Like I was like, Yeah, you don't have to finish every statement with don't judge me. Yeah. Or like, yeah, just just exist, how you want to exist. And if you like cookies, eat the cookie, you know, have the thing like, oh, going back to my point, like, you know, yeah, I mean, this morning. Like, I'll wake up super early for my workout. Sometimes. I fell off track with my early morning workout. Like literally the last like six months. It's fine. Now I'm back on it because jetlag forced me to not sleep. So I was like, Well, I'm awake. Now. I might as well just go to the gym. But anyhow, what did I eat this morning? Before the gym? I had? Literally a bite. Like I shouldn't say bite their bite size. Technically, these like little dessert cakes there. There was like three layer rainbow cakes as Italian cookie. I don't know exactly. I forgot what they're exactly called. Three layer cake. Cookie bites. Sure. Somewhere in there. Regardless, that's what I ate with protein shake.
Macadamia Nut tote. What are those? God told us? I don't know. Yeah, the protein shake. Confessions every time we eat dessert for ragazze. Like, oh, I couldn't move them down. I was like, I was just I had one and a half. So whatever, it's fine.
That's the thing. Like I literally decided before, like, I didn't just wake up and decide that I had this urge to eat it. I was like, tomorrow morning, this is what I'm gonna do. Because I know, this is what I want. And I'm not denying myself. Yeah, I have this desire, you know, and it's just like, okay, like, and I've been the same weight for a while. So it's in like a good way. Like, I'm trying to, like, maintain my weight at this point in my life. And so it's like, now that I'm kind of like, at will say like, my ideal weight. That's how I approach things. And even if I was losing weight, even if, like, there's some times where I, like, you know, have a phase where I'm like, Ah, you know, like, I'm feeling uncomfortable my body because sometimes, you know, pounds creep up here and there. But it's kind of like going back to being like, Okay, I don't say like, Oh, my God, like, I have to lose this weight. But a lot. I'm just kind of like, Shannon, what have you changed? Like, where are you currently unhappy that's causing you to not like, treat your body with the same respect that you had been treating with it treating it with before. And so just like, kind of shifting how that conversation looks with myself to where a lot of times it's like, I fall out of these good habits, or like this healthy relationship with food because something else in my life is going on? Like, it's so I kind of always say, like, kind of like, to our next point. Yeah, what's really causing this unwanted weight gain that you're experiencing? So like, where are we placing the blame? Like, who are we blaming? And like? Yeah, like, are we using, like, back to our old point? Like, are we using the holidays as an excuse to fall back into old habits? Or like is this unwanted weight gain happening? Because, you know, like, something's being brought up. Like, I think the holidays are really big triggers for a lot of people, because you're going back to family, and maybe you've worked really hard to change who you are, and change how you identify yourself. And then you're coming back to a family that has always seen you a certain way. So I think that brushes up a lot of emotions and thoughts and feelings for people. So like, I think that's a really valid reason why maybe sometimes we do gain weight during this season. I've had a lot of clients say, like, oh, like, I don't want to see my family again, looking the way I do, like, I gained like 20 pounds this year, and like, they're gonna see me and like, I'm so ashamed and embarrassed, where it's like, okay, like, and then instead of getting back to healthy habits that you know, you can do we kind of just say, like, you know, that that shame and guilt and fear of how we're going to look in front of our family almost like makes no difference. So then we just continue to perpetuate the problems that we feel like we're facing, or like unhealthy habits that we can't seem to break or like old patterns. And so, going off of that, like what else could be coming up that's causing me to gain weight, like, am I experiencing seasonal depression, which I do kind of feel like everyone has a touch of seasonal depression, or just, you know, a little bit of dampening when you're kind of like cooped up and stuck inside. Maybe there's something else like maybe there's some kind of stress in your life maybe this is your busy season for your job. Like I know a lot of people find that to be like a big challenge with trying to like maintain their stress levels when work is really crazy. I don't know are you having a baby or like your family going nuts? Like yeah, no can be anything like what I think having that real talk with yourself and kind of again, like, hard truths being like, Okay, what's really causing this weight gain? Like why am I really feeling out of control when there's certain things around me like what's really causing this?
Yeah, I think that's a good point to go off of to and I think it's a point that Not many people can, or usually will, like, correlate together, like, all right, maybe I'm using this because I'm sad, or maybe I'm using this because I'm really happy. But it's like kind of going into the sense of like, if you kind of know where you're at, you have to set a realistic expectation for yourself during the holiday season. Like if, you know, like, we were saying, if you're really stressed with work, or if you're going to be traveling for an entire week, and you don't have like access to every single healthy habit that you're doing right now, you know, like, be nice to yourself and set like a realistic goal of like, Alright, I'm definitely going to be traveling, I'm going to be off of my usual schedule. So like, I kind of just want to maintain, if I hang around this weight, you know, for the next month and a half, like I'm happy, like, I just don't want to like fall into my old patterns, or my old habits that I have surrounding, like the holiday season, you know, and like setting that realistic expectation for yourself and allowing yourself to enjoy the holidays and enjoy the maybe some extra calories that you might be consuming. And don't feel like, like I said before, like the goal is not always weight loss, you know, so if you're content with where you're at, and who have like, feel good about yourself, your body right now, like it's okay to just maintain for a little bit too.