Pondering Past, Present, and Future

Episode 7 of the Fuel the Fire Podcast hosted by Shanon Safi, RD, LDN.

Join us through this wonderful and on the fly journey through the mind! In this episode join Shanon and Cat as they talk about the passage of the soul, connections to past lives, and not being afraid to be yourself.

In this episode we talk about: What is your soul’s purpose? (2:55) Can we recall a past life? (11:46) Tearing down gender roles and welcoming your energy (20:39) How everyone is a liar and embracing perceived negativity (30:40)

Episode Transcript:

 So like, why do this temporary lifestyle to torture yourself to just know that by the time this lifestyle ends that things are just going to fall apart, you know, like, don't choose to do something that isn't really what you want. Hello, hello. Welcome to episode six of the Fuel Fire Soul podcast. We're going to be talking about realistic resolutions.

It's almost that time of year where everyone starts... Thinking of new things to start, or try, or begin. Especially when the new season rolls around, 2022. I think we're all ready for this year to finally feel a little bit more normal, a little bit better. I think the whole world is excited for this new year.

So, Kat, let's chat a little bit about what we think about resolutions in general. Like, let's just have some general thoughts. Some general thoughts. Yeah, so I feel like... I mean, definitely from our standpoint, we probably see a lot of unrealistic goals in the sense of just putting like maybe a number to how much weight loss you want to see or how much body fat you want to lose or how much muscle you want to gain.

And a lot of the time it's a very broad goal that can be. Divided into several smaller goals. So very unrealistic or an unrealistic plan to get to the goals. At least that's what I see sometimes. And, you know, we can do that for ourselves too. So I'll probably be, I probably was guilty of that at some point.

So, but yeah, definitely starting really big instead of diving into some smaller goals. Yeah. I think that it almost like makes me sad when you hear all of these, like. Goals that people are setting. And I think the media like paints this picture of like what other people do in such short periods of time.

Like. You know, I think going back, yeah, I feel like I blame the media for a lot of things, so I'm sorry. I'm always, like, scapegoating the media. That is true. But yeah, you see stuff online, like, I'm gonna use the bigger butt thing, because... A bigger butt? I love a bigger butt. You see those, like, pictures and videos, it's like, this is me before I started squatting, and this is me after one month of squatting, and then she just got this huge badonkadonk, and you're just like, oh, is it that simple?

I mean... No, you don't just like work out for like, even like six months. Like your butt's not going to just magically become this beautiful bubble. And so I think, you know, you see, Oh,

we've had a lot of bubble and ball talk today, so this is bubbles and balls. That's going to be our new topic of conversation. But yeah, I mean, I do think like. It's some of these, like, goals that people get are because they see that they're doable online, but realistically, it's like they're not really attainable in a time frame.

And I do think, like, people set, like, I think it's good to have quantifiable goals. Like, I think we talked about that before in a previous episode. But at the same time, I think having a goal that's quantifiable in a healthy way, that's going to be encouraging rather than being so focused on one that's like, I mean, maybe discouraging in the sense where if I'm like, Oh yeah, I want to lose, like.

40 pounds this year or something. And then, you know, you set this goal and we're not really setting like the little baby goals that actually get us to lose 40 pounds. Then we're kind of just like flailing our arms in this, you know, ocean of weight loss, and we're trying to figure out how to swim and not sink when we're trying to like lose this weight when really we should be setting goals like cook three times a week instead of like lose 40 pounds, you know?

So it's like, I think it's more important to focus on. The actual steps that it takes to reach these bigger, broader goals, rather than just like, Giving these really vague goals with no actionable steps. Mm hmm. Yeah, and it's like, you definitely need to have the tools to prepare yourself to get to that goal of maybe 40 pounds of weight loss, you know, like it doesn't just happen, like you have to have some sort of knowledge to how are you going to start that in the first place and trying to set yourself up.

With like more realistic goals. Like if you're not drinking water right now and you're having a glass of water every day, like that's probably a good place to start. And like showing yourself that, you know, you kind of have to prove to yourself that you can set a small goal and attain it. Cause if you just have a plan to like set out to lose 40 pounds and you try to do that in three months, you know, and you can't even.

Wake up to your alarm clock in the morning, you know, it's going to be really discouraging thinking forward to losing 40 pounds like so kind of forming that trust with yourself in the beginning with the small steps of like, all right, I'm going to drink eight ounces of water. Every morning before, like, as I'm making my coffee, like, and if you can prove that to yourself, the next goal is going to feel a little bit easier too.

I think building momentum with being able to tackle these little goals is a really good idea. Cause you kind of need to like build some confidence and trust in yourself. Cause I think like, that's a really big part of it where. Sometimes we set out with good intentions, but in the back of our head, we're already like, well, I failed the last 40 years that I tried this resolution.

So like, is it really going to work this year? Like, what am I really doing that's different? So I think, you know, like you said, like having smaller goals that you can tackle and feel confident that you're able to do, it's going to make it a lot easier to set. Bigger goals or like at least progress in your goal setting, however you want to look at it, whether they're bigger or smaller or just incrementally, or just like smaller goals in general that just lead to a bigger goal, I think that's a really good thought.

Yeah. And it's kind of like thinking not to like what you're going to look like in a year, but more so like how you're going to be feeling in a year or two, like what habits do you need to form to feel. Better in your skin than what you feel right now. Like, what does that ideal version of you next year feel like?

Like, how did they get there? And kind of go through the steps almost backwards. Like, so you can figure out what the ideal version you're seeing yourself as is actually feeling in the moment when you reach the goals. I was just reading a book. Of course you were! Sorry to reference like the 5, 000th book only in six episodes.

It's fine, it's good. Wow, I'm blanking on the name of the book, but it's written by Joe Dispenza and I don't think that necessarily makes him a genius, but you know. I... Yeah, I guess I say I'm like, just because you have a credential. Mm. Okay, anyway, I'm getting off topic. I, like, love to derail myself. So, yeah I like his work because he talks about kind of like what you were saying.

So he's a huge advocate for meditation and rewiring your brain and your thought patterns. And so a really big part of his work and what he believes really truly allows someone to change is when you're a lot more focused on Like, or I guess practicing being that future self of yours, so when you're meditating, sitting down, and like, genuinely feeling into it.

So, I think... Sometimes that's hard, but in the beginning, I don't think it's easy. You just have to keep going with it. So he talks about how you have to like sit down and essentially think about the feelings and genuinely feel them. So it's like, okay, if I was 40 pounds lighter, what would I feel like?

Like, would I feel happy? Would I feel satisfied? Would I feel sexy? Would I feel, you know, all these different thoughts. And it's like, you want to actually feel those into your body. And I think it helps to think of maybe other parts in your life where you. Like, can evoke those emotions, because, you know, if you're trying to feel something that you've never felt before, obviously, it's a lot harder to conceptualize.

But if you kind of pull from other scenarios that have happened in your life, where you did feel happy or confident or excited or sexy, you can, it's a lot easier to think about those times. And again, like I said, evoke those feelings and it's gonna help, even though you're not necessarily Thinking about it in terms of weight loss, but if you tell yourself you're feeling happier and you're feeling more confident and you're sitting in those feelings and genuinely bringing them in to your body, like you're kind of like, you know, changing your vibration, changing the frequency that you're putting out there and the universe, I do think really does respond to that because if you carry yourself like it, Again, we talked about it before, like, if you're carrying yourself as like, Oh, I'm someone that's overweight and I'm trying to lose weight.

Again, you're identifying as carrying yourself as someone that is overweight versus as someone that's happy and confident. So the more that you can feel the emotions that are in line with this Person that you wanna be, the more likely you are to genuinely become that person and make it something that's like truly an identity shift and a change that sticks for more than just a few months at the start of the year.

Or maybe a lot of times it's just one month that people can last or even three weeks. So yeah, it's really important to do the things that are going to really carry you through those like harder months where, you know, it's, it's kind of like. Easy to do something for a few weeks, but it's hard to really make it stick.

And that's like the little shift of like, how do I get these resolutions to really stick and make them a complete shift in my personality, identity, actions, beliefs, environment, all of that. Yeah. And I think like, that's something a lot of people don't do, like the idea of losing weight. We just keep using them as an example, but I mean, it's a big one.

So, the idea of losing weight always sounds really good until you dig into like, all right, well. Why do I want to lose that weight? Right. And I think that's what we were kind of chatting about before too. It's like, the reasons behind that and really true it, truly understanding what that ideal version of yourself looks like and forward thinking to like a year in advance instead of like, all right, and three months I want to lose this weight.

Like, you know, it's unrealistic. So, yeah, like if you aren't already doing that stuff, like I challenge you to do that. Stuff, because a lot of people don't do it and it's really uncomfortable and it, it is like, you know, even from a personal standpoint, like trying to sit down and figure out like, all right, like this ideal version of me next year looks like.

She's confident and, you know, eat six meals a day or five meals a day, four times a day, whatever it is, like, whatever you identify as healthy and confident and successful, like, whatever that looks like to you, I think you need to figure that out first before you dive into setting this goal of a 40 pound body.

Weight loss. Yeah, I think kind of how you mentioned, like, really understanding your why and your motivation. Like we have handouts and like the online course that we've been working on, we talk about how important it is to really know what your true motivation is and your why. That in itself, I think, is harder than people think.

When someone initially challenged me to kind of figure out, like, what's your real motivation, I think a lot of times, like, we think of surface level. So, when you're kind of trying to figure out what's truly motivating you, you almost kind of have to, like, work backwards. So, it's continuing to ask yourself, like, okay, well, like, Like, why do I really need that?

Like, and kind of following that up and like asking yourself, okay, well, why do I really want this? Like, why do I really want this? So like, let me give you an example, cause I think that doesn't really sound like it makes sense until you put it into practice. So okay. Say you're like, I want to lose 40 pounds.

Well, why? Well, because I want to feel better. Well, why do you want to feel better? So I'm more motivated to, like, do things and, like, wear cute outfits and go out with my friends. Well, why do you want to wear cute outfits and go out with your friends? Well, I want to attract a partner, so I feel like I would feel a lot more confident if I looked better.

It's like, well, why do you want a partner? Like, well, I really want love in my life. And so then you're like, oh my god, like, you're doing all this stuff thinking you just want to look cute when really it's It's like, I'm craving love in my life. So that's my true motivation. And so again, like no one says I want to lose 40 pounds because I want love.

You know, I don't think we initially jumped to that, but when you keep asking yourself why, why, why, why, why, and I think that helps you get to the deeper, truer motivation as to. to like, what's really going to change you or like, if you have kids, that's another big thing for people that, you know, you're kind of like, okay, why don't I lose weight?

You know, have sexy time with my husband. And then like, I've said sexy like 37 times, I guess you guys know what I've been thinking about.

Oh man. So that's that. Yikes. Sorry to any family that is listening. This is getting awkward, but here we are. So, yeah again, derailing myself, so, going back to what I was saying, I think, yeah, just like, thinking like, yeah, if you have kids and you want to be a really good role model, or like, maybe you never had a good role model, so you want to be that for someone else, and that's your real motivation, I think we need to think about motivation in terms of something that's like a lot deeper than just like the surface level thing that we're used to thinking about, you know, like, oh, I want to look good for my wedding, or I want to look really hot when I, Like, go on this vacation with my girlfriends, or like, whatever, I think the deeper you get with it and really understand, like, your true purpose and what that looks like in life, it's gonna be a lot easier to understand, like, what your genuine motivation really is that's actually gonna help you carry on with these goals and let it be Become something that really sticks because like I use this example with people all the time.

Like if someone was like, Hey I have all these donuts. And if you eat this donut, you can't wear that tight top that you're going to wear tomorrow. And I'd be like no, I think I'll take the donut, like, I'll just wear a flowy shirt, like, whatever. But if I was like, hey, you can't see your children ever again if you eat that donut, like, I'm not gonna eat the donut!

I mean, not that I have children, but like, if I did, I wouldn't eat a donut over them. So like, I think it's like, thinking about it that way, like, what's really making you... What would really, genuinely make you do something differently? Mm hmm. Like, what are you willing to risk? And like, more so, it's like, what's, what are the sacrifices you're willing to give up?

And like, sometimes they're not, like, true sacrifices that you really need to make. It's, again, going back to that mindset shift, too, where it's just like, maybe I'm seeing it as a sacrifice, but if I, Remove one thing. I'm really making room for something better. I feel like that went on a very good, good way, but it's like, all right, so you found that out.

That's your kind of why, like, this is all right. I want to lose weight because I want to be able to, you know, run around with my kids. Like that's something I really, really want. And I think. That's great. And you need to like kind of remind yourself because at some point that, you know, you digging into it, it might like kind of flutter your mind a little bit.

That's why I think like writing things down and keeping track of those thoughts, like having it in front of you and like reflecting back to these thoughts you're having when you're having a hard time. And the reason you're starting this in the first place is always good. So when you do feel like you might be derailing a little bit or going off track and like maybe getting into like.

Self sabotage, which we'll talk about later, I think. So, but yeah, once you start falling off a little bit, you have something like, those are your own words you can reflect back on and remind yourself why you started this in the first place. Definitely. Yeah, I know. I think we, yeah, we definitely got a little excited and jumped a little forward with some things but to kind of just like go back on.

Some, well, I'm not go back on what we said, but I guess refer back to a topic that we mentioned earlier. So yeah, I think part of this, like a big part of why a lot of people have trouble with resolutions is because of the unrealistic goals. And then another thing we wanted to mention was potentially like not having the proper tools or knowledge, I think.

Especially with nutrition, because everyone eats. I think everyone has this general idea of what they should do. And like, sure, we all read news articles, see posts on Facebook, see what our friends are doing. We're talking about it at work. We're having challenges at work. Like, all that stuff that people, or like related to food that people talk about or get into.

I mean, it's, it's a normal thing that a lot of people have thoughts and opinions and doing what they're doing already with. So I think taking a step back and being like, okay, Do I need advice from an expert in this? Like, if I've tried and not been able to do it, maybe I'm using the wrong information, or maybe I'm using the wrong toolkit for myself.

Like, maybe there's something different that I need to do this time versus continue to tackle it the same way I have all the years that I haven't been successful in making it stick. Yeah, and like, thinking about... Like challenges and things, and maybe your form of dieting in the past was, um, you know, something out of a crazy magazine or, Oh my God, what did I hear someone say it recently?

Sorry, this is a little bit of a tangent, but not really. Someone was saying they were doing this local weight loss, whatever it was. I don't know exactly. And it was literally. You cut out all your, literally no food at all. And you drank two liters of water with maple syrup and lemon juice for like a week.

I was like, are we really? That's challenge. That is quite the challenge. So if that's your toolkit, I don't think that's going to work long term. But yeah, then it was like, then you can have a vegetable the next week. I was like, Oh my God. So kind of. If that's like, crazy information that you've tried in the past, like, obviously...

You know, maybe reaching out to like an actual professional who like gives you some better advice and like is not going to one complete extreme of the spectrum. Cause I always say like, there's like a spectrum in the terms of you know, overdoing your food. Like. Going binging or complete restriction.

And if you're on like the restriction end, there's no doubt that eventually you're going to go back to the binging end. So like kind of finding like a happy medium. And if you've never found that, like you need to do some research and find out what the best tool, like what the best resource or the people you can use and like contact to set up a realistic plan.

This is a paid advertisement. I paid Kat to say that so we could plug ourselves in, kind of talk to us at Fuel A Fire. TMS!

So, Like, you hear some insane things and people do it! So if you like, are willing to do that, it blows my mind, this also. When people come in and I tell them they can eat pasta, or really whatever they want, and then they like, really... They're like upset about it. It's like, no, I wanted something more intense.

And it's like, you don't, yeah, just, I guess the media and what you're surrounding yourself with sounds very dramatic and it does not need to be. So yeah, getting that the right information first, please. Yeah. And I think. Even for myself, like, I've done crazy stuff when I was younger and not educated yet in the realm of, like, nutrition, and so...

That, I mean, I can't blame people because, like I said, I mean, like, I've been through it, where you feel like, okay, like, that's just how it works. That's how you lose weight. You have to do something extreme. And so when you have someone that's, like, challenging you and saying, like, this is actually different, this is the opposite of what you thought this whole time, what's actually gonna work is something that is less aggressive and people, like, You know, yeah, it's like your reality is being challenged.

Like, this is the truth that you've always known. And when someone's saying like, Hey, you're wrong. Like at first it like hurts and you're like, no way. Like, I can't buy into this because it just doesn't make sense to me. Like that, like everyone I know does these things and. That's the part of it. Like, that's what's so wild is because it is so common and so commonplace and like, we're not taught about nutrition in depth, I should say, you know, I remember reading, or I'm sorry, learning like the food pyramid in school when I was like, I don't know, middle school or elementary school or something, but You know, we definitely don't teach the food pyramid or my plate or any of that stuff.

Sorry, government. If you hear this please don't block off our podcast. But like, yeah, I mean, that's just not like realistic. Like, I think talking to someone that has worked with people and definitely someone that matches like your vibe. I think that's really important when you are seeking that out, like trying to connect with someone that has the toolkit that you're looking for.

I think, you know, meeting, yeah. Yeah, like, because I do think there's a lot of people that are still trying to sell you on certain wild diets and, like, something, like, magical that you remove from your diet and suddenly you lose all the weight. But I think, yeah, just kind of knowing what has worked for you in the past, what hasn't worked for you, and then, like, thinking about, like, what is going to work for you as the new version of yourself that you want to be.

Because that might not align. Like, you know, if you do, like, We'll talk about, like, intermittent fasting, like, because that's another really popular one. So, you know, if the future version of you wants to go out to dinner with your friends and be happy cooking breakfast for your family, but you do intermittent fasting, and so, like, what that looks like is, like, I only eat from twelve to five, and so that means I can't go out late with my girlfriends and have drinks and I can't cook breakfast because I'm not allowed to eat breakfast, then it's like, okay, is that really what I want to do?

If that's not really the lifestyle that I actually want to live. So like, why do this temporary lifestyle to torture yourself to just know that by the time this lifestyle ends, whenever that is, that things are just going to fall apart, you know, like don't choose to do something that. That isn't really what you want, you know, like at the end of the day, like if that's like ruining your life in ways, and not to be dramatic, but it's like, okay, if I can't go out with my friends, like that's not fun.

If I can't go out on the weekend past 5 p. m. and put something in my mouth, like. I, that's, like, to me, like, that stinks, like, that's detracting from my life, I don't want to do that. Or if I, like, can't, like, yeah, like, all the different things, where it's like, you're not allowed to eat this, you're not allowed to do this.

Think about how many things that takes away from, like, of course you're gonna resist it, and of course it's not gonna last forever, because in the back of your head, you're like, God, I can't wait to stop doing this, because it sucks. So, like, why set yourself up and start something that you know sucks? Yeah, like, a lot of people trying to do even low carb, or...

Yeah, the keto word. You know, like people trying to do that, it's like, are you gonna be able to go the rest of your life and not eat a piece of cake at your birthday? Or are you not gonna be able to, you know, if you love ice cream, like, well, I guess people will argue that you can have keto ice cream, but I guess there was something in keto cheesecake earlier, so There's keto everything.

There's keto everything, I guess. But in that sense, it's like, alright, if you're going to your favorite And, you know, it's like a very, like a high carb dish. Like if it's something like pasta and that you love from an Italian restaurant, are you going to never be able to eat that again? You know? And it's like, what was the saying?

I heard it was like, stop, like, don't give up 95. Don't sacrifice 95 percent of your life to look 5 percent better or something like that. Which I think is very true. And I think both of you and I have experienced giving up 95 percent of our lives. And I know people that still feel that way. And like, They're all, like, very cautious and, you know, Oh, I can't have this or that when we're out to eat because it might be following, like, off of their, their diet plan.

And, you know, I've been in that situation, but is that worth it to an extent? To go to that extreme where you can be kind of just learning how to eat again, honestly. And, like you said, we never learned that skill in school. So there's never a class of, like, All right. This is, these are like your proteins and carbs and fats, maybe a little bit with my plate, but nothing like in detail.

Like, what are you supposed to just picture my plate every time you go out to dinner? I don't know. It's weird. Yeah, so it's weird. Yeah, it's like weird. We never learn about. Really fueling our bodies. So I have to find that the right way to do it I was just talking about this with my sister in law last night because my niece she's so cute She's one and a half and she's trying all the new foods And we're talking about how you're supposed to approach a child who is like Just exploring eating.

And the thing is, we're like, we're innately born to self regulate. Like, we just have that within us where, you know, especially when we're kids we know when we're full and so we stop eating because we're like, I don't like, I mean, not that you're saying this is before you can really speak, but like, you're not going to keep eating if you're full.

I think the complication comes in is like, Through the years of conditioning and, like, associating foods with rewards, or, you know, now implementing, or I should say, like, bringing in all these processed foods that your body, like, responds in weird ways to, I think that's what made life so complicated and why it's so much harder now than it used to be.

Because I do think now, like, parenting's a lot harder, and I think a lot of us have these, like, Weird thoughts about foods and like what that's supposed to look like and it kind of like sets us up for failure, you know, like things like, you know, like I think of like, oh, this is a reward. I'll have some ice cream because I did a really good job.

And like, that's okay every once in a while. But like, when you condition a child to do that, then it's like, okay, how are they going to be in their adult life and stuff? So I think, Like, so much of these, like, crazy habits that we have come from conditioning that we had to learn somewhere, usually our environment, in some way, whether that's, like, family or friends or your work environment, whatever that might be.

So I think, like, a big challenge of this is, like, everyone's talking about, like, oh, like, what are you setting for your New Year's resolution? Like, I think this is such a common topic. Like I know in January, like we, I talk about this with lots of people. People are always asking like, Oh, what's like your resolution?

Like, what are you guys doing this year? I know in my friend group, like our group chat, everyone's like, what's your resolution, what's your resolution. And like, I think sometimes like, again, it's like. Be careful who you're chatting with, and understand, and like, is there a boundary you need to set with your friends?

Be like, guys, I don't want to talk about this because, like, I have my goals and I'm focused on them and I don't want anyone to take away from what I know is right for me just because someone else is confused and, like, you don't want that, like, past pressure you used to agree with to affect your decisions now.

Or unwanted advice and opinions. Please reference episode 5. So, yeah, I mean, that's so true. And, like, a big thing, I think we already touched on this, but like You know, making sure that this lifestyle that you're trying to adopt really fulfills you. That's like a big ke keyword is like feeling that fulfillment.

Yeah, and even today I had someone who was kind of like, I've never done this before, like I felt really good, like I'm eating foods I love. So it's like, good to hear that, cause it's possible to do it, and enjoy what you're eating and still have like that. end goal of like maybe weight loss or whatever it is, but just generally, genuinely feeling better.

Like it was like a whole entire different person walked into my office when they realized like, oh my god, I'm eating all the foods that I still love and I don't feel like I'm really restricting myself in any way. So I feel like I can do this for like the rest of my life, which is great. So it's like good to have.

Those realizations and bring that back. I think I just went on a little tangent because something popped into my head. I'm sorry. It's okay. It all circles back. Yeah. So yeah, let's chat a little bit about how to make changes actually stick for people. So Catherine, let's talk a little bit about the first thing that we think is super important for making changes stick.

Yeah. So definitely getting some sort of support system for yourself. Like me personally, I know I need some accountability in my life or someone whose goals are similar to mine. I guess, or someone you look up to, maybe like a mentor or something like that. But having some sort of support system. And I was kind of listening to Jay Shetty, Jay Shetty.

Yes. And he was saying like. Pick someone, you know, it doesn't even have to be anyone, you know, but like, what was he using? It's like an example, like Oprah. All right. Like what do you love about Oprah? And like kind of see how they got to that spot or like ask your friends, like maybe someone was really successful with weight loss and that's your goal.

Like ask them, interview them. How did they do it? How did they successfully get there? And if they're doing something that does. Fulfill your lifestyle and is realistic for you, like use them as your support system. Yeah, I think when we say support, not only do we mean like Yeah, I guess I think we're focusing more on, like, friends and your environment and who you're talking to.

I think that it's really important to be around like minded people. Not that you can control that 100 percent of the time, but you definitely have the ability to choose who is in your circle of people that you want to talk about these goals with. So I think talking about your goals with people that have similar goals or really support your growth as an individual, I think those are both really important things because I think Who you're talking about it with, and what you say, and what they say back, especially when you're in a fragile state of, like, change.

I think it's harder to take negative responses and not take them, like, personally. So, when you say, like, oh, I'm, you know, eating pasta to lose weight, and people are like, how could you do that? Like, you're, that's not gonna work. It's like, yeah, you don't, then you're gonna start overthinking and stuff like that.

So, I think, definitely. Surrounding yourself with people that trust you and trust your judgment, I think is really important overall. So it's probably a good way to put it. So someone that's going to be like, yeah, supportive of whatever you choose to do, whatever that might be. I think as long as you know, you're doing something that's safe and sound and not harming yourself.

But yeah, ultimately I do think your support system is really big. Yeah, I agree with that. But yeah, definitely being on the same wavelength of people, like, I know a few people here, like, are friends with each other or whatever, and they kind of have their own little group chats, which is nice to... You know, be on the same page when someone's really, really on the same page as you.

That's a much better feeling and you can talk through it a little bit easier. Yeah. The second thing I think can be super helpful is having a coach slash expert for what you're trying to change. Again, a nice little shameless plug, having a registered dietitian that can really help. But like in general, I think, you know, The best of the best have coaches.

That's why they get to where they are. Like, professional athletes have coaches. So don't feel ashamed. I feel like sometimes there's shame around, like, seeing a dietitian or seeing a therapist because it feels like, oh, I should be able to do this by myself. But realistically, it's like, no, like, I don't, you know, not everyone's spending their time studying these specific topics.

Like, you know, we have Derek doing the personal training because, like, He's the expert in it and stuff like that. So it's like, you guys have to remember that like, we all have our area of expertise. And so we're all unique individuals with our different roles. And I think it's great if we can find ways to support each other.

And then, especially when you need support, don't be shy about getting it, ask for help when you're not sure. And if you have no idea where to start, I definitely think, you know, the first step is like. Getting clear on what it is that you want and then from there figuring out who can I go to That can at least start to point me in the right direction Mm hmm.

Yeah, and just knowing and being like okay with Putting yourself first and like seeing whether it's your physical health or mental health like making that investment in yourself Like you really have to look at it like you're investing in yourself somehow like is it worth it to get to like the point that you want to be and I always think like You know, I know you agree in terms of like invest in your mental health, invest in your physical health, like whatever that might take.

Like, I feel like if you break down the why hard enough, you'll find that it's worth it, you know, whatever it might be. Yeah, I spend so much money on personal development and my health because to me, like, that is so important. Like, if my quality of life isn't there, like, what's having a few extra bucks in my pocket really gonna do for me?

Like, if I'm miserable, do I really need this hundred bucks to probably blow on something? That's detrimental to my health or personal development. Like, you know, I think about it all the time. It's like, so hard to justify paying for, like, a gym membership when I could buy leggings that are 100. Like, okay, that could have been, that one pair of leggings was your gym membership for the year.

In some cases, you can find cheaper options. So I think, thinking about that too, where it's like, okay, this... Like if it's important to me, I should spend money and time on it because ultimately that's what it's about. Like what, again, like what good is your money if it's not making you happier? And you know, obviously keeping you safe as well, but yeah, it's like, I think that's like a big part of it.

Like you get to pick and choose what you spend your money on and make sure you're choosing the things that are really aligning with your goals and who you want to be. And that might be just another part of the, the next step of like, the next thing is really making like the small sustainable changes.

So even if like, maybe financially that might be something you have to talk through, but you know, you have to, like I said earlier, you have to form the trust with yourself. So if every morning you're setting your alarm for 6am and you're pressing snooze, pressing snooze, pressing snooze, you're breaking that, that trust and like the confidence in yourself.

Right from the get go. So it's like, all right, what can you really do to like prove to yourself that you can make these small changes and they will add up over time? Like, you know, waking up to the sound of your alarm might not sound like a crazy big goal, but it might be that first step to take. And then like.

Breaking that weight loss goal all the way down. Like what needs to change in order for me to have that weight loss. So if it entails, you know, waking up a little bit earlier so you can get a 20 minute workout in, like that's something you have to set for yourself and prioritize. Yeah. I think you brought up a really good point of like, Not betraying yourself in terms of like building that trust with yourself and saying like like actually sticking to what you say you're gonna do So if you're like think about it with someone else if someone makes this like big promise to you and lets you down like you're pretty Upset with that person so like think of it the same way with yourself So like don't say like I'm gonna wake up at 4 a.

m Every day if you know that you're gonna hate waking up at 4 a. m every day because what you're doing is continuing to like Like, betray yourself, in a sense, where you're, like, doing the opposite of what you say you're gonna do. So, even though it's, like, with ourselves, and in a sense, we can be so forgiving, ultimately, over time, I think that works to hurt us, because then we start to feel more like a failure.

And we internalize that, I think, twice as much, because it's with ourselves. It's a lot easier when it's with someone else, because you can just be like, F that person, I won't talk to them. But, like, you know, you're waking up and looking at yourself every day. You are who you are, through and through, and so...

You have to, like, do the little things and do the small things and build that trust in yourself, especially if you're trying to reach a goal that you never have, or it's been a really long time since you've been there. I agree. And it's like, sorry, I, I had a thought and I went away and it came back, but it's like.

Obviously those things are not comfortable at first, so it's like just being comfortable knowing that it's uncomfortable and that you're probably going to be uncomfortable at first so like You know, maybe you hate vegetables and it's uncomfortable to start eating vegetables, but eventually that will become a comfort to you once you kind of learn how to, like, maybe that's a tool you need to use.

Dig into it a little bit more in terms of, like, meal prep. Alright, well, like, how can I learn to make vegetables taste better? You know, like, and, you know, that might be another small step to put into your... Overall big goal. So yeah, definitely. I think we have a little bit of Another point to make so I think establishing a routine is really important.

So kind of what you're saying It's like okay, like what are the things? That like how do I want my life to look and like how do I actually start like putting those little? pieces into my schedule in a way that works for me. So if you're like, okay, I have to meal prep on Sundays for this to work. And I need to go you know, like, do you have a garden?

Do you need to pick your vegetables somewhere else? Or like, do I want to grow my own at home? So it's easier and I don't have to like leave the house to, I want to get my groceries delivered. So it's like thinking about all these little things, it feels overwhelming because when you have these goals, like.

There are a lot of different pieces to fit in, but I think it's so much better when you think like, okay, these are all the things that I need to do. How does that fit into my schedule? And can I just like plan a sample week for myself? I think that's so important because we can say that we need to do all these things, but if we don't actually schedule them in the same way we would like schedule a meeting, sometimes it's like hard to take it as seriously, or it's easy to push it off and then end up never doing it.

So I think like establishing some kind of like feasible routine is. It's like one of the biggest parts to this. Mm hmm. Yeah. And like part of like a routine should be like figuring out to like your priorities to like is meal prep. Like if you know you don't meal prep, is that something that's going to completely derail you from the week?

You know, and a lot of times it is like I did not meal prep this week and I am eating cottage cheese today because I have nothing else at home, but like, I don't know. So that was just a dumb example, but, you know, like now I'm lost because I did not meal prep that one that didn't become a priority for me somehow, for some reason this week, but anyway so like re evaluating your priorities in that sense, like you have to know that needs to be done in order for you to stay on track.

Yeah, I kind of thought about this earlier and I want to toss it in there, but like when you're talking about like not liking vegetables and then trying to work them in because you know they're important. I think a lot of times when we start to do things That maybe don't feel super great in the moment, but like build up and lead us to feeling better in the future.

So like, for example, you know, I think there are enjoyable ways to eat broccoli, but like in general, I'm just using this as an example. If you don't like love eating broccoli, but you continue to do it. And then you're feeling better because you're routinely eating vegetables. Then you're going to start to enjoy broccoli.

Like before it was like, it used to taste weird, but now suddenly it tastes good because you're thinking about. The effects it has on your body. So it's like you really start to love things because of the way they make you feel because ultimately, I think How we feel about things leaves the strongest impression.

So, continuing to go back and checking in with yourself, like, How is this experience making me feel? Is this bringing me to a place where I'm feeling better about myself as a whole? And my body, and my functions, and my immunity, and all that stuff, and all those little benefits. The more you focus on those good parts, the easier it's gonna be to keep going, especially because there are going to be days that you don't feel like doing these things, but reminding yourself of how you feel when you do do them versus how you feel when you don't do them, I think that's always that little push to be like, I'm going to feel like, I think about this too, like waking up to go to the gym.

I'm like, if I sleep in, then I know I'm going to feel worse and be kind of groggy all day and grumpy. So like, even though I feel a little bit grumpy getting myself out of bed, I know ultimately I'm going to feel so much better for the rest of the day. If I can just Be grumpy for those five minutes that I'm forcing myself to get up.

So, you know, it's kind of like reasoning with yourself and reminding yourself of your why going back to the motivation so like Yeah, that's like ultimately what you really want and you have to remember what's like helping you get there and keeping you in this routine and like Yeah, get that support, find that coach, make those little changes, establish that routine, get some accountability.

All of that stuff really culminates to you feeling better and loving yourself more. Yeah, I feel like we did a good wrap up there. Yeah, that was good. But yeah, I mean, it definitely takes, you have to look at it a little bit differently than you went into it maybe last year. So, like kind of starting.

With, like, your why. Like, if you've never done that before, like, really sit down and dig down a little bit deeper and figure that out first, and then figure out the small steps to get to that big goal that you might have for yourself. Yeah, we're waiting for DMs from the podcast, too. We want more of them.

So, if you need help figuring out your why, I would gladly do that. So, yeah, just DM us. Like, we want to hear from you guys, and we want to help you guys. Get to where you want to be. Like I said, we've done so many different crazy things, so don't feel shy telling us whatever wild thing you feel like you've done that you're like, how can I really confess this to someone?

Tell us. We want to hear it. We want to help. We want to get your feedback. We want to know what's working for you guys, what's not working. And we want you to kick ass in 2022 and set some amazing goals, have some beautiful resolutions and really truly change your life. Yeah, yeah. I think we can all get there this year.

Hopefully 2022 is a little bit better in terms of everything. In terms of everything. Nicely put. I mean, I guess 2021. Is that what we're in? Yes. Oh, yeah. That's a pretty good year, but hopefully we return to normal. This next year, let's hope. But yeah, thanks for listening guys. So if you want to DM us fuel the underscore fire on Instagram, shoot us a message.

Like I said, we love to chat and Jamie, our lovely, beautiful assistant that is over here that's gonna help fix all the weird things that we said in this podcast episode and make this nice and palatable for your ears. Yeah, thanks, Jamie. Thank you, Jamie. yEah, she'll put some notes in there for you guys, and I'll have to fill her in on the book that I cannot seem to remember the name of.

I can't even remember the name of the road I live on sometimes. I'm so forgetful. But yeah, we'll share that with you guys and yeah, keep expanding your brains and we can't wait to release the next episode. We already have it planned out to help you continue on with these goals that you will set hopefully from today's episode.

So yeah. Thank you guys. Thanks. Happy holidays. Love you. Bye. Love you. Bye.