The Transformational Hierarchy

Episode 8 of the Fuel the Fire Podcast hosted by Shanon Safi, RD, LDN.

Have you tried making changes in your life but it doesn’t seem to stick? When we make changes, we tend to only focus on a couple aspects of our lives and forget about the internal work that also must go along with it. In this episode, Shanon and Cat introduce and discuss the ‘hierarchy of change’ and the mindfulness we must put into developing our lives for the better. They will be focusing on the first two steps in change, that being ‘spirit’ and ‘identity’.

In this episode we talk about: What is the hierarchy of change? (01:21) How do we typically approach change and why doesn’t it stick? (04:37) How do you connect deeper to find your purpose or ‘spirit’? (13:28) Why the way you talk to yourself is so impactful and ways to help find your ‘identity’ (21:11) The rundown on your next steps to change (36:50)

Questions to answer while making life changes: Who am I?

• How do I understand myself?

• Where do I belong? (group, profession, spiritual, etc.)

• What am I telling myself that I am that I’m wanting to change?

What do I want?

• What kind of self image do I want to have?

What is my purpose?

• What are the most fulfilling responsibilites I'd like to have throughout my lifetime?

Episode Transcript:

  I could sit here and say I'm a tennis player, but like I can get on the court and Serena Williams will smoke me because deep down I'm like, I'm no Serena Williams, so I'll never be able to be here. Your health is the same way. Like if I want to get really good at something, you have to believe that you can be the greatest.

Hello, welcome to the next episode of the Fuel Fire Soul podcast. Today we're going to be diving into a transformational hierarchy. I always have trouble saying the word hierarchy, and so I'm really proud of myself for now. I'm proud of you as well. We've been having quite a day today. We went on a wild tangent about spirituality earlier, and that's all you can think about.

We haven't decided which episode is going to come out first. So if you hear this in the order we didn't anticipate just know that cat once lived on the Titanic. That's it. That's all we need to know right now. That's the most important key principle to remember throughout this entire key takeaway. And yeah, I once.

This was Cleopatra in a past life. There's so many question marks after these statements, if it becomes the first one instead of the second one that's released. So yeah, we just wanted to confuse you a little bit at the beginning and now we will make things clearer for you. So yeah, either an episode or two ago, we talked about making some New Year's resolutions.

So, we wanted to dive a little bit deeper into, like, how we view change and what does work versus what doesn't work. A big thing we wanted to talk about today was something, again, like I said in the beginning, it's called transformational hierarchy. We derived this from Robert Diltz, who's really big in the NLP world.

So if you're not familiar with NLP, it's Neuro Linguistic Programming. Oh, that was good too. So, I kind of felt myself tripping a little. Good job. So Neuro Linguistic Programming is about how we operate and communicate. So it's just kind of like a deeper exploration of how we think and. Essentially, like, how to communicate that to others in a non violent way so that you can kind of get your point across and have it be understood.

Because there's two sides to communication, it's partially how you say it and partially how it's received. So, that being said, Robert Diltz with this, he has like a Levels to Change theory, and so this talks about each, we'll say like level, more or less, you can think of it as a transformational pyramid wow, I'm feeling like Cleo again, talking about pyramids.

Oh my god. All of the pyramids. That's another reoccur our past lives are just gonna keep coming up in this episode. It's fine. So, this pyramid, the way we look at it, Um, there's six levels to it. So the top of the pyramid. Spirit is spirit. So that's the first level. This is the most important level of change.

So when you think of spirit, you want to think of like, it can be religion. It doesn't necessarily need to be religion, but it's really where you find your importance and your role in life. Identity is the next one. So that's number two identity. Think of that as like I am statements. Like this is how you're identifying.

Like I am a mom, I am a daughter, I am a lover, whatever it is. So anything that you can say I am and follow it up with a little statement that you see yourself as The third one values slash beliefs. So this talks a little bit about Really? I mean, I guess it's in the words like what's really important to you.

How do you see the world? What do you believe to be true about your reality and yourself the fourth one? capabilities so with this Capabilities, again, it's like getting more simplistic, I guess, as we go in our, further down the pyramid. So capabilities, this is really just about things that you can do.

So think of it as just like simple tasks and skills. Behaviors. So this is the fifth step. Behaviors is really just like how you act and like your daily activities and things that you've conditioned yourself to do. And then the last one is environment. It's really what you're putting around yourself and surrounding yourself with.

So today what we really wanted to do is spend the most time on one and two. So we're not really going to dip too much into three, four, five, and six. We're really going to focus on your spirit, how to kind of like get into it, and the second one, your identity. But first, Kat's going to talk a little bit about how we typically approach change and why a lot of times it doesn't work.

Yeah, so kind of just like visualizing a pyramid and thinking Spirit is on the top of that one going all the way down into the environment. So, when we should be kind of focusing in on those first two, we usually don't the spirit, the identity. So, these are things we're going to start talking and show you how to kind of dig into those a little bit deeper, but why a lot of it.

The time it's hard for to create these changes. Wow. I'm really slipping up. I'm sorry guys. Why it's like the hardest thing to change everything. It's like, we're focusing in on the environment and we're focusing on the behaviors. So to kind of put that into perspective, we're focusing more on like the conscious level of like, you're, you want to change your environment.

So what exactly does that mean? That means like more like, all right, well, I'm going to start changing, you know, By being surrounded by maybe going to the gym and having that environment or I'm gonna start cleaning out my kitchen cabinet so I don't have as much junk food around. So you're changing your physical environment and then you're changing your behaviors of like, all right, and I'm going to go to the gym now five times a week and I'm going to go meal prep every Sunday, you know, and having these.

Environmental and behavior changes in place. And that, you know, usually will sustain for the first, maybe what, like two to three weeks, maybe. And the rest, it takes like a lot of willpower to keep doing those things. So why that doesn't work is because we're not. Figuring out why why are we doing that?

Or are we able so the capabilities like are we capable of going to the gym five times a week. Do we know how to work out? Do we know how to meal prep? Do we know what food is the right food to have in your house? Like those are your capabilities. So if you're just focusing on environment and behaviors, it's going to be really Okay.

It's going to follow. It's going to be hard to meet your goal because you're not changing your capabilities or you're not changing your values or beliefs. So is this something that really is important to you or why is this important to you? Or what do you believe is to be true about? the way, you know, you're starting to change or way you want to change.

Why do you believe it's important? So, and then same thing, your identity, that's like who, how you are identifying yourself. Like if you think I am, you know, going in, like, we'll start with a weight loss goal, cause that's pretty standard, I think. But if you're kind of identifying as someone who's unhealthy or someone who's.

You're going to be overweight. And that's what you're telling yourself over and over again. It's going to be hard to continue making that change cause you're only doing that surface level stuff. So really trying to figure out that identity piece. And then that's something you have to realize you have the power to choose your thought and you have the power to choose.

to choose who you identify as so you can always change your thoughts. So we'll go into a little bit of detail about how to do that. And then that first thing is really your spirit. So more so like your mission, you're like, what is going to be most fulfilling for you to do your highest purpose? You know, we've talked about the why before.

So your, why, like, why are you doing all of these? things to begin with. So your spirit and identity, that's what we're touching on today. But you know, surface level, if all you're changing is environment and your behaviors, that's why a lot of things are going to fail moving forward. I always love a good analogy.

So think of your garden or outside or your walkway and you have weeds. If you just, like, trimmed the weeds on top and you just cut off what was visible, there's still a root in there, and that weed will come back instantly. And then sometimes we try pulling the weed, but there's still some roots left, and guess what?

The weed comes back. So think of this as... A giant, you are a weed. You are a weed. You don't want that weed there. Right? You want to get rid of that weed. So what do you have to do? You have to dig it out from the root. So that's what we're getting into. How do you dig out that root and replace this weed with a beautiful flower?

So you have the capability. Thank you! I'm joyful! You know, I didn't even plan that one. Just came to you. Yeah, you, I looked at you and I was like, what a beautiful little flower. Oh, I thought you were gonna say what a beautiful weed. No, we want to get rid of our weeds. Getting rid of the weeds. Planting flowers.

Yes, we, we're like a little caterpillar, you know, like this one, actually now I'm just, now these are getting bad. Now we're to stick with the weed and the flower. Yeah, sorry, the caterpillar is more of a transformational one. Yeah, we're talking about planting, replanting beautiful things. Cause I, I think a lot of the times.

When we meet with people, it's almost like we get stuck in our current reality and people find it really hard to change because of, again, that spirit and identity level. And I think it is so hard to change these things, and it does not happen overnight. Like, we talked about, or Kat mentioned how, like, yeah, some of these things will stick for only a few weeks.

Sometimes you can make it be a few months, but that doesn't mean that you've changed your spirit and identity. So, even if it was a few months, that, you know, there's still a chance. I think, like, they do all these research studies about how, like, You know, people started diet six months later. It's like 90 percent of people have gained the weight back if not more So, you know by the six month mark, I'm not saying that all these things are going to change But if you focus on those you're going to get longer lasting change So you might not see change happen in the weight loss zone As rapidly as you would if you were changing focusing so much on changing like your environment and your behaviors But when you're working from the root and identity It's almost like you have to work a little bit harder for longer and focus on those things.

So, like, you're investing these next six months to a year to really focus on spirit and identity, and then after that you can enjoy results happening naturally, where you don't feel like you're forcing yourself to do these things. And I think that's the biggest part of it is It's like I get we live in a world where we want things to happen quickly, and I think a lot of us lose patient with this kind of stuff and we want to see results quickly.

But the thing is, is like with us, a lot of the results do start slow, but the thing is, is like you are building good habits. So it's the same concept as when people say like, Oh, that person was an overnight success. But then that person says like, no, I worked my ass off for like five years. And then just, it took one little thing to hit big and all that hard work is paying off.

It's the same situation here. Where you're putting in all of this work and your effort into your spirit and identity and it doesn't look like much and you know You're not gonna see dramatic changes in your body right away and no one's gonna be saying these things but then once you change your spirit and you change your identity All the other things become so much easier and just happen so naturally, again, because you're now, like, changing how you see yourself.

Yeah, and I think, like, something people might not even know what their spirit is that the word? Yeah, I guess. Spirit or vision. Yeah. What their spirit is. is like, what is your mission? What is your highest purpose in life? And that I think in itself is really something a lot of people don't know the answer to right away.

So if you don't know the answer to that, it's going to be really hard to find. Results in anything cuz it's gonna be like well, why am I doing this even in the first place? So I think like really working on finding out what that means to you And understanding your why which we definitely have talked about before so like maybe go back what I don't remember what episode that was But six episode six, so there you go Go back and listen to your why and like find out What, what things are gonna lead you to that better vision of yourself or the highest vision version of yourself or what's keeping you motivated and using the whole why behind that to keep you motivated.

That's the whole point of doing this, all this work here. Yeah, we have some good questions, so if you're kind of struggling first to find, like, what your spiritual side is or your identity I know Robert Dilds mentioned, like, excluding the word spiritual because I think a lot of people do. Think that it means religion and it really spirituality and religion are like two separate things I think of your spiritual side is like connecting with yourself connecting with your soul and that's really like an internal thing I think people mistake that for religion because again like there is a spiritual side to religion, but you don't have to be Religious to be a spiritual person.

I think everyone can embody spirituality because again, that's just about connecting deeper to yourself, to your soul, to your purpose. And so, kind of just ask yourself, like, where do I really see myself belonging? So, like, where, what is my role in my life? So, think of this more generally, not necessarily in the scope of, like, nutrition.

So, like, maybe you have a job that you feel really passionate about. Maybe you're in an organization. So it could be even like a professional thing It can be a volunteer organization. So where do you feel really good? Like what's making your heart happy? Maybe it's something that's more private something ideational and again back to the spiritual level It could be religion Do you belong to like a church or a group with a strong set of beliefs or like?

You could be an activist or, you know, anything that really gives your existence a purpose. And I think it's okay, you know, it's really okay if right now you don't feel like you're living out your purpose. I think that's like a big part of this too. Maybe you're struggling because you're not actually doing something that's fulfilling your spirit.

So maybe you put your dreams on hold because You know, with maybe you got married young and then you're with your partner and they pursued their career and you stayed back, raised the children, but your, your soul still feels like it's missing something. So we kind of feel like aimless. And again, that's, that's a hard position to come from to make change when you're feeling like you don't really know what your reason for existing is.

So that's why it's almost like you don't even know who you are to understand. Where you're trying to go. So if you have no sense of self, like going into that touches into identity a little bit. So if we can't really even figure out who we are and what our role is, then it's really hard to even grasp.

Grasp like a sense of who I am and what needs to change in order for it to make sense and tie all together So another thing that you can ask yourself going back to the spirit side of things Yeah, so like what in general like what's your mission? Like, what are you going through life for and like what's again?

Like going back to the word purpose. I feel like I'm starting to say the same words a little bit. Okay But yeah, I mean, I think it's ultimately like what do I want to be doing? Like what's my ultimate life? Goal, and when you think of that like it shouldn't necessarily have an end point. So With this don't think of like, oh, I want to lose 40 pounds.

That's not a life goal so we're talking about something deeper than that so like You know, like maybe your mission is to help other people grow I'm using this because personally I feel like that's part of my purpose in my Like, mission is really to share my knowledge in a way that allows others to, like, liberate themselves and to grow and to overcome things.

And so, to me, if I'm spending time doing that, there's that's not like an end goal. There's no like, okay, I've done it and now I can check it off my list and move on. Like, that's something that, to me, every day of my life, indefinitely, I will feel that as, like, The thing that gets me up in the morning. That thing is my drive How can I do more of this?

Because when I am doing it, I feel so good. I feel so in flow and That's what you really need to find for yourself And it's and again, like I said, it's okay if you don't know what that is, and it's okay If you're not living in it yet, however, it is the first step So if you're not or you don't even know what that is figuring out what it is and getting really really clear and concise on what that is and the steps you need to take to Have that in your life is where you need to begin.

Yeah, that was, that was a good, good little tangent to go on there. That was good. But yeah, and it's, like I said, I don't think a lot of people have dug into that, so that's what makes change so hard to begin with. So, really looking into the why of your doing that, and then same thing You know, who, what are you trying to fulfill in that too, in your life, really?

And taking those questions, I would write all those questions down, I think we'll probably write them in the notes, right? Yeah, we can do that and we'll definitely go over it again in the wrap up too. Yeah, and it's like, kind of from that level, it's like Um, and it's like every decision you make, like if you have a goal, like kind of tying it back into, maybe your goal is to be healthy, you know, and then that might be part of your mission somehow.

So, and kind of like Shannon was saying, like being healthy is part of your mission because that's when you feel your best or that's when you feel you're there for your family or you're there for your job and you're showing up the best way is when you're healthy or when you're feeling like. fit or in shape or whatever it might be, whatever that word you want to use is, it's more motivating when you know why you're doing it.

I think you touched on a really good point, is like, this does tie back into health. And I think that for everyone, to some degree, health matters in terms of fulfilling your spirit. Because, again, like, yeah, if you don't feel good, you're not gonna show up in a way that you can tackle. These different things that include like that are on the journey of you fulfilling your purpose So like with anything like I mean if we're unhealthy and we're sick the energy is not there We're just really you know, if you're drained, how are you supposed to operate?

I know this is probably a recurring theme in a lot of the topics that we get into But if you have no energy to put towards us and I can't emphasize it enough You just this is not something you're going to be able to tackle. So whatever is keeping you from fulfilling your purpose You might need to re evaluate some things that are taking up your time and space and energy that don't need to be there And that that can be really hard sometimes because that change can look really crazy And drastically different in people's lives I think I recently made an Instagram post about it where it's like You know, if you're in a job that's like, you feel like is pointless, that's, and you feel like you really have a career that you want to pursue, because that's going to fulfill your purpose, then it might be a job change, which might just cause a complete storm, and you don't know what's going to happen in your life if you quit your job.

Or maybe you feel like you got into the wrong relationship, because when you first got married, You didn't realize who you were. You didn't realize what your purpose was. You didn't, you identified differently and now you're trying to change those identities and that's going to come with some resistance in your marriage.

And now it's like, well, I never even thought I'd be the type to get divorced. That's not something that I think is right. So you have to battle yourself. With this and so I feel like that's why people's spirit a lot of the time is dulled because we're so afraid to say that I made the wrong decision and now I need to change it.

Yeah, definitely. So, and those are like really big things to think about and I think it's hard to think about a lot of the times because some people are in those positions where it's like a major life change that might need to happen and that can look really scary. But you know, first exploring it and acknowledging that that might be it.

Might just be, you know, the first step in it, and then kind of figuring out where you want to go from there. Like, what ideally, like, let's go with the job. Like, where do you see yourself working? Where do you want to work? And like, what do you want to be doing? Do you want to be helping people? Or do you want to be helping Like, in what way do you want to be helping people?

I was going to say animals. Like, do you want to help animals? Do you want to help people? Like, what do you ultimately see yourself doing? And is whatever you're doing or however, whatever change you want to make, is it leading to fulfilling that mission or your highest purpose in life? Definitely. Let's get into identity now.

So identity, just to refresh our memories from the last ten minute little spiel we gave you, so identity is really like I am statements, like who I am, who am I identifying as, how I see myself. So it's really important to think about this from the operational level, because we will always fall in line, like our actions and behaviors will fall in line with who we see ourselves as.

So what we want to be careful of is choosing, we'll say like, negative identities, or like having negative identities run in a subconscious level, causing you to do things that your higher self doesn't want you to be doing. So relating it back to like weight loss again. If we're trying to be healthier and lose weight, but I'm saying, you know, if I think I'm like I'm fat or I'm unhealthy or I'm saying these like negative thoughts about myself, then I'm going to continue to operate from that level.

And so that's why, again, like those other things don't change. Like if You know, in another thing, like, I could sit here and say, like, I'm a tennis player, but, like, I can get on the court and, like, Serena Williams will smoke me because I, you know, I'm not that kind of tennis player, but it's the same thing here, where it's, like, Deep down, I'm like, I'm no Serena Williams, so I'll never be able to be here.

Not that I, you know, I guess if I woke up every day, I would still have to practice tennis and do those things. But it's like, your health is the same way. Like, if I want to get really good at something, you have to practice it. And you have to believe that you can be the greatest. Like, I think that's like a quote from Muhammad Ali.

It was him saying like, I just decided to believe that I'm going to be the greatest. And that's how he got where he wanted to be. Because his spirit, his purpose, his mission. was to become the best fighter, and then his identity was, I am the best fighter. So, all of his actions and his environment, all of that shifted because that's who he knew himself to be.

He didn't have to force himself to do it. He just naturally wanted to do those things because it was in alignment with his spirit and his identity. Trying to figure out what you want to be, I think, is a good first step, and then step two is identifying, well, I mean, step one or two interchangeable, but like, yeah, one, you have to identify who it is that you want to be, and then two is identifying, well, what am I currently seeing myself as in a negative sense, the things that I don't want to be?

What am I repeatedly, subconsciously, telling myself that I am, that I want to change? Yeah, and that's something it definitely takes like it doesn't just change overnight like this definitely requires a lot of patience, especially when you maybe if you are kind of journaling and writing out like a list of maybe the negative identities you're Keep telling yourself that subconscious negative beliefs that you have versus the positive ones, you know, like trying to figure out the negative first.

I think I'm like going off a little bit, but like I was saying, it doesn't happen overnight, but you can kind of work and do things to make yourself almost believe it a little bit more. And really like, you know, if you're a tennis player and you don't. Really identify as a tennis player. You're not just gonna believe that overnight but if you start like maybe you really want to be a tennis player and you start putting that into your real life like making like your vision board of it or really meditating on that or doing your mantras with that like then you can kind of Visualize it a little bit more and maybe believe it a little bit more and you just have to kind of keep repeating those things And replacing all these negative beliefs With the positive ones because like I said before you have the choice to choose the negative versus the positive Identity or beliefs that you're telling yourself Yeah, I want to hash out these activities that you can do to help really shift your identity because I think this is where We definitely get stuck is like, okay Well, like how do I truly change this so that my subconscious?

Programming is telling me these new identities. So, some things that you can try. One thing that we both love are vision boards. I think this is great. So, this can also be a fun activity. Like, I feel like you could do this with your friends. Like, you know, get some alcoholic beverages, sip on them, and like, clip some things out of magazines.

And just dream. Like, dream big. Like, what does this... Change in your life. What do you want it to look like? What do you want to experience? And really, you know, like, clip out anything. Like, it doesn't matter what it's about, but if you want it, don't be shy about it. Put it on your vision board. Don't be ashamed.

Don't compare your vision board to anyone else's vision board. Embrace your personal vision and what you want to see out of your life. Yeah, and then I think that was good too, like, doing the vision board. I did that this weekend, actually. Yay! I didn't put it together, but I clipped everything. So, work in progress, but yeah, like, kind of have fun with it.

And like, if it's a mansion in a night magazine that you'd love to live in, like, Cut that out and put it on a board somewhere or if it's maybe feeling strong, like cut out the word strong and put it somewhere, you know, like, and if that's one of your goals, if that fits into your goal of being healthy, like these words, like strong or mindful or whatever it might be, like cut those words out too.

So you have those little reminders and another visual kind of reinforcing that. Yeah, the second one that kind of like. Goes hand in hand with the vision board. So I like to have like a feeling vision board and I say this because I think Words can be really powerful and I think part of this is shifting emotionally So again, like if I'm sad all the time, it's really hard to be happy I can't just like pretend I'm not sad and just I think what that really takes is kind of like remembering times that made you feel certain ways.

So with this like I treat it the same way as a vision board where I like look through a magazine and I clip out things that I want to feel. And so I call this like feeling practice. So I'll sit down with this list and this is something that like right now I'm doing this every day because Because, again, I think like, you know, healing is like a lifelong journey, and like change is a lifelong thing, because we see things that we want, and we figure out how we want to get it, and To me, this is what has worked best in my life, because again, we're approaching change from the identity level.

So, you know, I think we experience life through feelings, and feelings, I think, tie a lot of our strongest memories. Like, so, some things that I have in mind, like, I, like, enchanted is my number one word. I, like, love this word, so I really want to live an enchanted, love filled life. And with that, like, I want it.

To be in every aspect, so when I sit with that, I'm not just like reading it and looking at these words and not feeling it, like, I am feeling into it, like I'm really Looking at the word, looking at the emotion, and I'm imagining what my life would look like if in the state of that feeling. So, when I feel love, I'm like, what does that like, feel it in my body?

So I'm like, I feel warm, I feel tingly, I feel butterflies, like. Really get yourself to feel that. Close your eyes. Get into it. Like, do this alone. Like, I mean, I would do it alone. It's kind of weird. It throws off your energy if someone's watching you. So yeah, go in your room and have your little list and like, really sit there and like, feel into all of these emotions.

Like, okay, if I was... If I am a healthy person, what do I feel like? What does that feel like in my body? It's so much easier for us to identify like, physical feelings than it is just like abstract thoughts. So, like, I am healthy doesn't necessarily feel like something. But if you're like, okay, if I was healthy, what do I feel?

It's a lot easier if you put, like, words or, like, emotions to these identities. Because I feel like it's a lot easier to tie it together and really, like, I don't start to identify as that new version. Yeah, and I think another like a good way kind of leading into the next thing of meditation like that almost kind of Leads into that meditation like is another way to feel those feelings or you know Doing like a guided meditation is what I've been doing a lot recently just because I for me I can't just sit there yet and meditate on my own.

So I always like If I'm, if I am feeling even a certain emotion kind of going on a different end of things, but if I am feeling like anxious or stressed or sad or whatever it might be, like kind of looking for that guided meditation to bring some other like good feelings into my life. So using guided meditation as a way to feel or understand your feelings a little bit more too is a good way to start seeing that identity and who you want to identify as as well.

I think meditation really pulls you back to being in the present moment, because I think a lot of our times, a lot of times, like, our minds are in different places than our bodies. So, like, you know, I think it's easy to just be caught up in, like, thinking about, oh, I have to do this today, and this today, and this today, that you forget to just be present.

And I think the more that you can be present and appreciate the moment for what it is, The better you're gonna feel and the better you feel the easier it is to kind of like shift this mindset So I think like a lot of our anxiety and stress and worries Come from things that didn't even happen yet. And so kind of taking that moment and just being like, okay I'm here right now in this room with no one else and I'm just existing like it's so beautiful when you can really feel Present like it's something that I can't even put into words Like it's you're just so peaceful at ease like just existing and I don't think we do enough of that so having Set aside time to meditate and be present fully, I think is really strong.

Like put away your phone. Don't even have it in the room. Don't even glance at it. I think looking, you know, just knowing that your phone is present in the room could cause anxiety. So yeah, just remove it and just like, just exist. It takes some practice at first to do all of these things, but I think meditation is definitely a way to do all the things of like visualization or being present.

Figuring out the feelings that you're feeling in that moment, so I think that's a really important thing to start doing if you were not doing already. The last little tip we have for this is mantras. So, right now, my mantra is just breathe and trust yourself. I came up with this one yesterday, so this is my new one that I've been repeating.

And it really does help ground you. Like, I had, I've had so many different, like, mantras. I used to have, like, a nice little list that I was reading until, you know, that was, like, two years ago. And I really read that list of mantras every day for, like, two years. And then once I finally, truly felt those in my body, and they were so consistent and so ingrained in me.

Then I felt like, okay, like, I don't need to repeat this every day, but I mean, yeah, without a doubt, if you were like, what were those mantras, I could rattle them off because it, that's, it's just so ingrained within me now, and I'm not joking when I say two years, like, this, this stuff, again, really does not happen overnight, like, changing your spirit and your identity is a process.

And so, you know, you need to feel it out and figure out what's right for you. Like, do you like the idea of a vision board? Do you like the idea of feelings? Do you like the idea of meditating? Do you have mantras that you can really connect to? But again, that goes back to like, What kind of life do I want to be living?

I need to figure that out So that I can figure out what my identity needs to be to match that spiritual journey that I'm trying to be on Yeah, and I think it's kind of eye opening. This probably will be for a lot of people I would think But even you know, some of my clients I work with they're like Does it and this has to do with losing weight?

I'm like, I'm sorry, but yes, it does You have to do it first and it sounds like a lot it is work It's like to do this it just take a lot of work and patience and repetition so it does not just happen overnight, but You know small baby steps kind of feel out some of the things Shannon I talked about like the vision board your feelings meditation mantras even like gratitude or affirmations like if those sound more intriguing to you.

Just starting with one thing and like trying to make that more like a habit throughout your day or throughout your morning routine or your night time routine. So you can start you know, fitting into this new identity you're coming up with. If you're looking for a good book, again, I'm probably going to list a book at least once every episode.

But something that really helped me, the book is called The Insight Cure. Again, forgetting the author, but we'll write that in the show notes. I think this book was really good about identifying or I guess, like, it's that identity piece that I felt like it really helped with. It's like, Who am I at a core level?

Who do I want to be? How am I operating? And it kind of like, gives you some good, actionable steps to work through. And again, like, there's a lot of really good little activities, I guess you could say, that come from that book. So again, it goes even further than the five that we listed. You know, and again, like, pick the one that resonates with you the most.

It's gonna be different for everyone. I do think you need to evoke feelings. I think that needs to be the base of a lot of these activities. Because again, if you're not, if you're not feeling into it and you're not really putting your heart and soul into it, that's not going to shift. So again, I think it's so important to actually feel something when you're doing these activities.

If you're not feeling anything, that's probably not the right activity. If your emotional state doesn't shift, From when you started to when you're finished, you're either not doing the activity long enough, or that's not the right activity. Yeah, so it might take a little bit of time to figure it out, but I think that's a good direction to take things first.

So we gave you lots of juicy things to think about and so, small, small little recap and the things that we want you to start doing and start thinking about so your next steps would be Journaling I would say actually the first thing they're gonna do is journal and I would say if you take anything away from this That's gonna be The thing is, like, okay, I need to really sit down and think about who I am and what I want and what my purpose is.

So, what kind of self image do you want to have? How do I understand myself to be? Who am I? Where do I belong? Do I belong to something? Is there a group? A profession? A spiritual religion, or like, any, like, a spirit sense, whatever it is. Do you have a task? Do you have a goal? What is it that you want to accomplish in this lifetime?

Hopefully I didn't read those too fast, so you can kind of pause and write them down. But I do think all of those questions individually are really good to ask yourself, and, you know, again, sit down with, take your time, don't be in a rush when you do it, and just really see what comes up for you. Yeah, I definitely think that's a good start to the journaling questions.

And then I think the more you work on these things, the, like we said, the easier, not easier, but it will become a little easier to go through the next steps. And like every goal that you kind of set or any behavior or habit that you want to change, kind of thinking it from a spiritual and identity standpoint first and seeing how it fulfills Your highest purpose or seeing how it like identifying as that is going to fulfill your highest purpose is going to keep you motivated to the goal or the change that you're trying to make.

Yeah, thanks for listening, guys. Definitely hope that you use some of these and start exploring yourself a little bit deeper. Like I said, this is the biggest first step. We're not in the game of weight loss, we're in the game of behavior change. So, that's what it's really about, to make sure that these adjustments that you're making really stick and it becomes part of your new life.

And that it doesn't feel like you're challenging yourself every day in the sense of trying to get yourself to do these healthy habits, really figure out your purpose, figure out who you are, and the rest will come so naturally. Beautiful. All right guys, well we're signing off for today. We want to hear from you, so if you want to chat, reach out to us, fuelthe__fire on Instagram.

Or you can find us on Facebook and message us there too, fuelthefire. So, yeah, thanks for tuning in today, we love you guys so much, I hope that you're enjoying this as much as we are because we've really been loving doing these podcasts and we are just having a blast recording. Mm hmm. It's our Wednesday, Wednesday ritual now.

Yes. Alright, love you guys, bye! Love you, bye!