What Strength Really Means (And Why We’ve Been Getting It Wrong)

The word strength has always been a deep one for me.

It is the theme that has run through my life.

It was the thing I had always been aspiring to be.

And yet, I have had a complicated relationship with it.

The pursuit of it riddled with confusion, misdirection, and redefinition.

In my youth, the easiest way for me to understand strength was by recognizing what it is not.

This was not something I conjured up in my head, but learned through observation, discipline, and spoken word.

Weakness was something I feared and tried to outrun.

Weakness was crying when in pain, physical or emotional.

Weakness was speaking your truth and putting yourself in a vulnerable position.

Weakness was showing that you were affected by the actions of another.

Weakness was meeting someone with kindness when they have done wrong.

Weakness was helping others instead of focusing on yourself.

Weakness was not being able to physically defend yourself.

It was consistently reflected to me that weakness was everything that I was.

So I lived a life trying to prove that I could escape.

I wanted to be seen as strong.

I wanted them to be wrong about me.

But when you’re young, your worldview is as expansive as you were permitted to see it was. Those early formative years shape your identity and determine how you interact with the world.

I wasn’t off to a great start, but I still moved through life nonetheless.

When Strength Becomes a Performance

As I got older, strength became something I performed.

It looked like discipline.

It looked like control.

It looked like pushing through, no matter what.

It looked like building a body that reflected “strength” on the outside… even when I felt disconnected on the inside.

And if I’m being honest, this is where a lot of women find themselves.

We learn to override our bodies.

We ignore hunger.

We disconnect from emotions.

We chase a version of strength that is rooted in proving… not in being.

And the world rewards us for it.

But there comes a moment... quiet, but undeniable... where you start to feel the cracks.

Where the control feels exhausting.

Where the discipline feels rigid.

Where the “strength” you built no longer feels like freedom.

Redefining What Strength Really Means (The Way It Was Always Meant to Be)

Recently, I pulled a reflection card that stopped me in my tracks.

A message from Archangel Ariel—the “lioness of God.”

A symbol of strength that is deeply connected to the Earth, to softness, to sensitivity.

And it reframed everything.

Strength is not the absence of emotion.

Strength is not how much you can suppress.

Strength is not how hard you can be.

It is…

Power through kindness.

Compassion through courage.

Softness that does not collapse under pressure.

It’s the ability to feel… and not abandon yourself in the process.

It’s standing firm in who you are, without needing to harden to be respected.

It’s choosing a soft response when it would be easier to armor up.

I defined what strength really means, on my own terms.

The Strength No One Talks About

Real strength is:

Crying when something hurts instead of numbing it.

Speaking your truth even when your voice shakes.

Allowing yourself to be seen instead of hiding behind perfection.

Meeting yourself with compassion instead of criticism.

It’s trusting your body instead of controlling it.

It’s honoring your hunger instead of fearing it.

It’s letting go of the constant need to “fix” yourself.

Because here’s the truth no one tells you:

The strongest version of you is not the most controlled version of you.

It’s the most connected version of you.

Why This Matters for Your Relationship With Food and Your Body

This misunderstanding of strength doesn’t just live in your mindset.

It shows up in how you eat.

How you move.

How you see your body.

You tell yourself you’re being “strong” by:

• Skipping meals

• Ignoring cravings

• Sticking to rigid plans

• Pushing through exhaustion

  
  

But underneath it?

There’s fear.

Fear of losing control.

Fear of gaining weight.

Fear of not being “enough” without the structure.

Fear of messing up.

And this is where everything begins to shift.

Because true strength in your relationship with food looks like:

Listening instead of controlling.

Responding instead of restricting.

Trusting instead of fearing.

The Invitation: A New Kind of Strength

What if strength wasn’t about proving anything?

What if it wasn’t about escaping who you are…

…but finally coming home to yourself?

This is the work.

Unlearning the version of strength that kept you disconnected.

Rebuilding a relationship with your body rooted in trust, not control.

Learning how to feel safe in your body without needing to manipulate it.

If You’re Ready to Experience This for Yourself

This is exactly why I created Food Freedom Reset.

Not as another plan to follow…

But as a space to redefine your relationship with food, your body, and yourself.

Inside, we walk through:

• Letting go of the diet mentality

• Reconnecting to your body’s cues

• Healing the fear around food

• Rebuilding trust with yourself

• And stepping into a version of strength that actually feels good to live in

  
  

Because you don’t need more discipline.

You don’t need more control.

You need a new definition of strength.

One that equips you to feel, trust, and live fully in your body.

✨ You can start your Food Freedom Reset here.