How to Love Your Body Even When It's Changing
By Shanon Safi, RD, LDN, CSSD — Registered Dietitian, Sports Dietetics Specialist & Founder of Fuel the Fire
If you've caught yourself standing in front of the mirror lately not recognizing what's looking back, or you tried on something that used to fit and it didn't, and your stomach dropped — I want you to know that moment is so much more common than it feels in the moment.
This has been one of the most alive topics in my own life for the last ten years, and I want to walk you through exactly how I've learned to move through it, because loving your body through change isn't a switch you flip. It's a practice.
My Body Has Changed More Times Than I Can Count
Ten years ago I was a competitive athlete. Strong, lean, disciplined — and my entire identity was wrapped up in being that version of myself.
Now I'm in my thirties, and on top of the identity shift that came with stepping away from competing, there are the natural changes that just come with time.
A few grays coming in.
Skin that isn't quite as firm as it used to be.
Little things I notice that weren't there before.
And I know this is only the beginning.
I hope to give birth one day, which means stretch marks, a changing body through pregnancy, breastfeeding, all of it. Change isn't a one-time event we get through and then arrive somewhere permanent.
It's ongoing.
Which is exactly why we have to find a way to love our bodies through it, not just once we land somewhere we've decided is acceptable.
Why This Hits So Differently As Women
We are so conditioned to believe our appearance dictates our worth.
We're taught we need to look a certain way to attract love, to be accepted by our peers, to be taken seriously at work.
Don't dye your hair like that.
Cover the tattoo.
And yes, there's research showing appearance really does affect how people treat us in the workplace and beyond — which is exactly why this hurts so much.
At the end of the day, we are all human beings who deserve love and respect regardless of how we look.
When we actually believe that, it changes everything. But most of us meet that idea with resistance, because we've had so much practice believing the opposite.
The Dress From Ten Years Ago
I have to tell you about the moment that cracked this whole topic open for me. Less than a year ago, I tried on a dress from ten years back.
I'd spent that whole time telling myself my body looked the same, maybe even better. It didn't fit. And within about ten seconds I had spiraled — this is the same size as my wedding dress, is my wedding dress not going to fit, I'm going to be embarrassed on my wedding day — over one dress not zipping.
I sat in that pain pretty much for the rest of the day. And here's what I want you to hear: I'm not going to tell you to positive-affirmation your way out of a moment like that.
Accepting a changing body is a process you show up for again and again, not a mindset trick you do once.
Reframe #1: Your Body Is a Narrator, Not an Enemy
Change is just information.
Your body changing is a fact — a neutral one.
We're the ones who attach an emotion to it, usually rooted in something much older than the mirror: rejection, worth, whether we believe we're allowed to take up space.
When you notice a hard emotion coming up around your body, the goal isn't to shove it down or positive-think it away. It's to notice it, the way a scientist observes something, without judging yourself for feeling it.
Sit with it.
Ask it what it's actually trying to tell you.
That noticing does more than most people give it credit for — it's the first step in detaching the emotion from the fact.
Reframe #2: Judge How You Feel, Not How You Look
Here's a resistance I hear constantly from clients, and one I've felt myself: if I make peace with my body now, doesn't that mean I'm giving up on changing it?
It doesn't work that way.
You cannot hate yourself into a body you love. You have to love yourself through it to get there.
The way in is appreciation, starting small and staying honest. I teach a concept I call the ladder of believability: you're not going to leap from "I hate my body" to "I love my body" in one sentence, because your brain won't believe it.
Instead, find what's actually true. I like the way my hair looks when I style it this way. I like the way my skin feels when I moisturize it. Small, true rungs on the ladder, one at a time.
And if your brain fights you on this — if it insists there's nothing to appreciate — that's just anger talking, and that's allowed. Walk away from the exercise. Let the anger move. Scream into a pillow if you have to.
What matters is that you don't push it down, because unprocessed anger doesn't disappear, it just builds until it comes out sideways, usually at something that has nothing to do with why you're actually upset.
Forgive Your Past Self
So much of the anger around a changing body gets pointed backward — I'm mad I let myself get here, I'm mad I didn't make a different choice.
One of the exercises I come back to for this is Ho'oponopono, a four-step forgiveness practice: you say you're sorry, you ask forgiveness, and you move into gratitude and love. I like to do it alone, out loud, moving through all four steps until I actually feel the shift. It's worth looking up and sitting with.
Catch the Self-Talk Before It Runs the Show
Here's the single biggest lever I can hand you: come from a place of neutrality before you can get to love.
That means noticing the self-deprecating jokes we've normalized — the ones we make about our own bodies without even thinking — and removing them from how you talk about yourself, even in passing, even as a joke with friends.
When you catch yourself mid-spiral — I'm so squishy in this top, I hate how this looks — pause and reword it from a neutral place instead: this shirt doesn't complement my body the way I want it to, let me find one that does.
Same situation, completely different nervous system response. If you take one thing from this, let it be that: notice the negative thought, and choose neutral instead.
That one shift, practiced daily, is the biggest first step there is.
You Are Not Alone In This
Every single body changes — that's what it means to be human. The goal isn't to arrive at a body that never shifts again.
It's to build a relationship with your body flexible enough to hold whatever comes next: a new decade, a new season of life, a pregnancy, an injury, just time. And the more you do this work, the more it ripples out — the people around you start to feel safer in their own bodies too, just from being near someone who's stopped fighting hers.
Ready to Actually Do This Work?
Everything in this post — the reframes, the neutral self-talk, the nervous-system-level work of actually feeling safe in a changing body — is exactly what we work through together inside Body and Soul Freedom, my group coaching program for women ready to stop white-knuckling their way through body changes and actually build a relationship with themselves that holds up over time.
Not ready for a full program yet?
Start smaller with the 4-Day Food Freedom Reset — my $27 mini-course built to help you take the first real steps toward food and body freedom without a huge commitment.
And if you just want to talk it through with me first, I'm still offering a free 30-minute consultation — no strings attached.
My calendar has been filling up, so if this post is speaking to you, I'd grab a spot now rather than later.
Listen to the Full Episode
Want the full story, including more of my own moments I couldn't fit into this post?
Listen to the Fuel the Fire Podcast episode, "How to Love Your Body Even When It's Changing," wherever you get your podcasts.
Frequently Asked Questions
How do you love your body when it keeps changing?
Start by separating the fact of change from the emotion you've attached to it — your body changing is neutral information, not a verdict on your worth. From there, shift from judging how you look to noticing how you feel, and practice small, honest appreciation instead of forcing affirmations you don't believe yet.
Why is it so hard to accept my body after it changes?
Because we're conditioned from a young age to tie our appearance to our worth, our lovability, and our acceptance by others. A changed body can feel like it threatens all of that at once, which is why the emotional reaction is often much bigger than "I just look different."
What is the "ladder of believability" for body image?
It's the practice of building self-love in small, believable steps instead of jumping straight to affirmations that feel false. Rather than forcing "I love my body," you start with something specific and true — like "I like my hair today" — and build from there.
Can a dietitian help with body image, not just nutrition?
Yes. As a registered dietitian, certified life coach, and somatic/EFT practitioner, I work with clients on the mindset and nervous-system side of body image alongside nutrition — which is exactly the work we do inside Body and Soul Freedom and in one-on-one sessions.
Shanon Safi is a Registered Dietitian (RD, LDN), board-certified specialist in sports dietetics (CSSD), certified life coach, somatic and EFT practitioner, and founder of Fuel the Fire — where she helps women (and former athletes especially) find food, body, and soul freedom. Follow along on Instagram @fuelthe_fire or listen to the Fuel the Fire Podcast wherever you listen.
Comments